Stay true to who you are. Be willing to bend to God's word and teaching, but never to what others believe you should be.
-Vionette LeGrand
Ever since I was little, I hated conflicting with others in my younger years. I would avoid displeasing people so I wouldn't deal with conflict. In college, a college professor looked at me and said I do not know who let you graduate from your Composition Class (ELA Class), but you are an awful writer. Instead of conversing with my professor and expressing how inappropriate that was, I allowed those words to consume who I was as a writer for many years.
My lack of openness to disagreements and conflict hurt my sense of identity instead of nourishing it and allowing it to grow. One day I remember mustering the courage to disagree with someone to hear them say. "You are creating disunity within this team." It seemed when I finally built the courage to express my disagreement, I was always wrong. Throughout the years, I've learned that conflicting with someone doesn't create disunity. At times and if done right can create unity instead of disunity.
What does the word disunity mean? According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, disunity means " lack of unity."1 Oxford Learners Dictionary defines disunity as, "A lack of agreement between people."2 In my extensive research on disunity, it was clear that the consistency was a lack of agreement between people or groups. It made me wonder why churches use this word in the wrong context. In my life, I have found myself in two spiritually abusive environments. While not everyone was spiritually abusive, leaders that were, loved to use the word disunity and unity around the people they lead. It made me wonder did they know what disunity meant or was it used as a control tactic.
I have learned that to unify people "conflict", what people call disunity must occur. In the bible, the Pharisees, religious leaders, etc. believed that Jesus created disunity. For example, Mark 2: 3-12 says,
" Some men came, bringing to him a paralyzed man, carried by four of them. Since they could not get him to Jesus because of the crowd, they made an opening in the roof above Jesus by digging through it and then lowered the mat the man was lying on. When Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralyzed man, “Son, your sins are forgiven.”
Now some teachers of the law were sitting there, thinking to themselves, “Why does this fellow talk like that? He’s blaspheming! Who can forgive sins but God alone?”
Immediately Jesus knew in his spirit that this was what they were thinking in their hearts, and he said to them, “Why are you thinking these things? Which is easier: to say to this paralyzed man, ‘Your sins are forgiven,’ or to say, ‘Get up, take your mat, and walk’? But I want you to know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins.” So he said to the man, “I tell you, get up, take your mat, and go home.” He got up, took his mat, and walked out in full view of them all. This amazed everyone and they praised God, saying, “We have never seen anything like this!”3
Here we see Jesus conflicting "disagreeing" with the teachers of the law. Teachers of the law in those days would love to point out what people did incorrectly. They felt like they knew the word of God the best. They did, but Jesus even said in Matthew 23:2-3,
“The teachers of the law and the Pharisees sit in Moses’ seat. So you must be careful to do everything they tell you. But do not do what they do, for they do not practice what they preach."4
You see, the Teachers of the Law "Pharisees" knew the word of God, but their actions didn't show they knew the word of God. Jesus knew this so he did three things here. First, He healed the paralyzed man not caring what the Teachers of the Law thought. Why? Because he knew the word of God and his actions were going to honor the word of God. Second, he confronted the Teachers of Law and did a quick heart check. Did they like it? Probably not, but he still confronted them not, and not just in any way, but with the word of God. Why? Because the word of God is our common goal as Christians of creating unity. Then Jesus addressed the man going back to the miracle that God created.
What seemed conflicting, disrespectful, and embarrassing to some became the backbone of someone that was not creating disunity, but unity. Jesus didn't shy away from conflict. You see, what unities us as Christians is not what we believe we understood from the word of God, but what the actual word of God says. Anytime one of us draws away from what the word of God says, we have the right and authority to have conversations to bring unity to the body. In the word of God, He asks us to work as the body of Christ towards His common goal. What is that goal? For lost souls to be saved for His kingdom and glory. While others will see conflict as disunity including religious leaders, God doesn't. God sees this as unity, and so should we. That's the POWER OF CONFLICT.
If you have ever had a conflict with someone and they have hurt you to the core. I'm sorry. I have had people talk behind my back to others and warned others to stay away from me because I am willing to accept that sometimes conflict will arise in situations, and those conflicts will need to be addressed. But in conflict, I have learned to be loving, and stay true and firm in what God's word says. Why? Because I understand that the word of God is a double-edged sword, and if held in the right hands will create unity instead of disunity. We as sinful people don't like to admit that our ways are wrong and God's way is better. We like to hold a front with our pride. What we do not realize is that steering away from conflict is not the way to solve the issues at hand. If Jesus would have done that in Matthew 2. He would have never died for us on the cross. The gospel was never meant to be watered down like many have done today. Too much grace and people never change. Not enough grace and people give up because they feel they will never be forgiven.
Stay true to who you are. Be willing to bend to God's word and teaching, but never to what others believe you should be. Stay true to who God has called you to be even in conflicts because that is The Power of Conflict.
Follow me on instagram at @vionettej . I would love to hear how this blog impacted your life for the best.
___________________________________________________________________________________
1 “Disunity Definition & Meaning.” Merriam-Webster. Merriam-Webster, 2023. https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/disunity.
2“Disunity.” disunity noun - Definition, pictures, pronunciation, and usage notes | Oxford Advanced Learner's Dictionary at OxfordLearnersDictionaries.com, 2023. https://www.oxfordlearnersdictionaries.com/us/definition/english/disunity?q=disunity.
3“Bible Gateway Passage: Mark 2:3-12 - New International Version,” Bible Gateway, 2011, https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Mark+2%3A3-12&version=NIV.
4BibleStudyTools Staff, “Matthew 23:2-3 - ‘the Teachers of the Law and the Pharisees Sit in ...,” biblestudytools.com (BibleStudyTools, 2011), https://www.biblestudytools.com/matthew/passage/?q=matthew%2B23%3A2-3.