I have held leadership positions ever since I can remember. I've witnessed both wonderful and cruel leaders throughout my time. I've seen leaders pushing people aside in favor of their agendas and leaders who help others thrive. What links these leaders together? PEOPLE and the power of their influence.
Has there ever been an instance where a leader or important person in your life, or even someone you considered a friend, made a false statement about you? Possibly without being aware of the details. Have you ever had a coworker who made up stories about you behind your back, and then other people began to treat you differently? Am I the only one?
There was a time in my life because of gossip and what others started to say about me that I was treated differently by a leader that I trusted. I would ask myself, "Is it me?" at that point. Am I imagining things? I recall being humiliated in front of everyone in a meeting where I questioned a decision and was treated disrespectfully by this particular person. To be clear, I did not disrespectfully challenge them. I posed a straightforward query. I wanted to say a lot when this leader degraded me. My Puerto Rican heritage was itching to surface! But at that very moment, I collected myself. I turned to face my leader, nodded, and continued.
All right, so let me tell you how difficult it was to refrain from taking offense, but I am reminded of the bible verse from Ecclesiastes 7:21-22 “Do not pay attention to every word people say, or you may hear your servant cursing you- for you know in your heart that you have cursed others (Biblica, 2011).” You either love this bible verse or you hate it because of the powerful truth it embodies. We are not perfect. There will be times when others will say things about you and you have to remember that YOU ARE NOT WHO THEY SAY YOU ARE. People will utter false things when they are enraged, frustrated, or jealous. However, I want to reassure you that the unfavorable things people have said about you are untrue. Choose to believe that you are who God says you are—chosen, redeemed, a new person, cherished, and priceless—even in the face of betrayal and hatred from others. YOU ARE NOT WHO THEY GOD SAYS YOU ARE.
What then happens when someone says something hurtful about you? Or snap with scorn and rage?
- You establish boundaries.
- You forgive.
- You exemplify honesty and grace.
- Remember who God has declared you to be.
- Finally, offer it to God.
PRAYER: I offer prayers to the person who is feeling discouraged by something said by a leader, friend, or loved one. I ask that they see past the words of defeat and recognize us as the unique individuals you have called us to be—chosen, redeemed, cherished, and priceless. Remind them, even in the middle of their suffering, that you love them and that your words about them are far more powerful than anything this world has to say. We appreciate your love for us. Amen.
Bible Gateway. (2011b). Bible gateway passage: Ecclesiastes 7:21-22 - new international version. https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Ecclesiastes+7%3A21-22&version=NIV